"Who Betta Than Kanyon??!!!??"
Christopher Klucsaritis (January 4, 1970 – April 2, 2010) was an American professional wrestler, best known for his work in World Championship Wrestling and the World Wrestling Federation, under the ring names Chris Kanyon (or simply Kanyon) and Mortis.
To me he was chris, and I'd like to share a memory.
On a sunny Atlanta afternoon chris showed up in the burb of conyers, in an older black convertible. With a fan shirt (of himself) on and that childlike twinkle in his eyes. He opened the door for me, and I hopped right in. We made small talk to avert the awkwardness (we met on gay.com lol) but just as we started to feel comfortable we heard a loud POP! He slowly pulled over with his face reddened and his voice silenced. As beyonce blared from the speakers he instructed me to stay in the car while he handled it. Of course I didn't listen. He dug through scattered promo/autograph photos of himself for the jack, and we joked that he should try and just lift the car himself. We pulled into the closest autozone called a cab and were on our way again. Over deep dish pizza and during some movie I don't remember, he told me tales of howard stern(who he listened to religiously) and of his "glory days". I waited for this monologue to stop knowing he prob tells it to everyone, and was just trying to impress me. What did impress me was when he opened up about his studies, and his eagerness to help people. What worried me was his dark side made clear by the prescription bottles he explained away. He wasn't shy about his battle with depression and I remember not really knowing what to say. An old wrestling buddy of his picked us up and took us to get the car. During that ride their interactions explained so much about why he was always "on". The macho-ness,the jokes out of nowhere. There was always this endearing sense of play with chris. I wish I could remember more details but that sunny day seems so far away. I remember it being the same week as the Atlanta gay film festival, I remember it was when I met Rupaul and Mike Ritz, and I will always remember how gentle/kindhearted he was.
I still don't know how to react to his going. You do find yourself wondering if instead of not knowing what to say you had said some magical sentence that would have comforted him then maybe he would still be here. Which is ridiculous but I cant help but go there. Suicide really upsets me. I mean I get it, but come on. We all have that little bit of hope left in Pandora's box. So don't give up. I know when I'm at my lowest I reach out, and try to find someone to live for. So try that at least. Live for the fact that if you go it will break my heart, and I only have so many bandaids left.
