24

Its MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! YAY! I love birthdays and now its my turn. I was originally concerned that I'm not where I wanted to be at 24 but things change, so must those plans. Heres to one more year before my benchmark! Woooooooooo!!! Year of the tiger!!!! (i'm an ox though lol). I do love being a Capricorn though. Woooooo!

Here are a few photos from a photoshoot I did around the end of July. We shot it in my basement and I had no idea there was soooo much stuff in there! Maniquin parts, a huge lampshade, there was even a giant santa (not pictured lol)

So I recently went out to elgin Il to my friends farm because the pumpkins were ready (in august!) and I miss my Georgia pastoral days just a lil' bit. I picked pumpkins (which have have to cut free), feed chickens (they love grass, didnt know), and even drove 2 trackers! P.S. -dont run through corn u'll cut ur face off.

Cause identification!

So I was all "where'd my ambition go?" etc etc.... Turns out its just a lack of testosterone. I went to see my doctor and he asked me a few questions.

1. Do you have a decrease in libido? (yup)
2. Do you have a lack of energy? (its a fight to write this lol)
3. Do you have a decrease in strength and/or endurance? (again its a fight to write this)
4. Are your muscles achey for no reason? (randomly all the time!)
5. Have you noticed a decreased "enjoyment of life"? (u mean everything feels dull as a hundred year old doornob? yup)
6. Are you sad and/or grumpy? (upsets me to even be asked that)
7. Are your erections less strong? ( yeah kinda goes with ques 1)
8. Have you noticed a deterioration in your ability to play sports? (hell i gave away my racket)
9. Are you falling asleep after dinner? (yes, like im old or something)
10. Has there been a deterioration in your work performance? (hahahaha ask my boss. yes)

my answer to all of them was yes. So I start with testosterone shots on friday and get one every week for 3 weeks and if it makes a difference then i will switch to the gel (who the hell wants a shot every week and the gel works better).



What I'm hopeing for is to have the old me back. :)

Joe with ambition and drive and a proper libido (you have no idea how difficult it is to be 23 and have an erection problem or constantly not be in the mood!).

I'm also hopeing for the ability to gain muscle quickly again

more energy and i wont have this whole "why do i feel so depressed when im not depressed" feeling.

Also the random hot flashes will be gone (yes! I thought I was a 65 year old women going through menopause!!!)

I'll be able wake up in the morning and not want 15 more hours of sleep.

Most importantly my mood will go back to the laid back Joe. Nomore of this crabby bitchy random mood swings. Imagine having haveing an angry hysterical mental reaction to someone pulling some bull and you not being able to handle it. (is this what women feel all the time????)

I'm also eating more nuts, and forceing myself to exercise. So far its helping but i have to constantly eat nuts all day!

for more info check this or google it all http://www.thefactsaboutfitness.com/research/test.htm

Ambition?

Where has my ambition gone? I seriously used to have enough for me and five other people. I could blame the events of my recent past for leaving me feeling defeated, but I only want to blame myself. I just can't seem to get myself into gear. It really does feel pointless, but at the same time everyone else's rocket seems to be taking off. Which should fuel my fire but instead only makes me linger in the dark longer. I've got to figure this out with a quickness. I can't keep living my life like this. Its just lazy.

i am deeply enthralled

the yellow wall

Brett's secert to staying tan!

This is another myspace to photoshop portrait of this guy I was emotionally involved with. Takes a slight dig at his vanity (symbol-tanning), bad timing (symbol- sunburn, also he sooo wishes he had a successful product out there. All is redeemed and forgiven by the smiling sun that is the source of his burn anyway.

What I guess I'm trying to say is, you can try and fight it all you want but if you stay in the sun for too long you're gonna get burned (by your ignorance).

Hey Barber I'd Like a Fade Please : 1/5/2009

made from compositeing photos from my bedroom wall with a self portrait.

Stool From Heaven : 1/7/2009


Ladder From Earth : 1/7/2009


Further exploration of what I was getting at in the last post, this ones more biblical though. See the halo above the stool? And the ladder doesn't seem to go anywhere except maybe up a little? You sit on a stool. You Climb a ladder.

Some art projects

Black Man's Money : 1/5/09



As I Try to Escape This Plane : 1/5/09

If I Concentrate Hard Enough Can I Overexpose Away? : 1/5/09

I've been trying to explore space/time again. How an object can exist in one place and move or be moved to another. Leaveing the previously occupied space "empty", but because it was just occupied not really as empty as before. Just bare with me as I fuck with it until it clicks.

-joey :)

"we're all jus tryin to get ta heaven."